On the weekend, Roque took them for a walk in the park. Jolie had requested it, because the host, as a minor, was not granted free access; she had to be accompanied by a responsible adult. Vaasta had no interest in parks, but the Judge liked to take weekly strolls. His suite was about halfway high in the megabuilding, by no means a favored site, so he did feel squeezed at times.
They took an elevator and zoomed up sixty stories to the roof. They stepped out, and were deep in a forest. Indeed, when they turned, their elevator was gone; there was no sign of civilization except the marked path, which curved out of sight both forward and back.
But where did it go? Vita demanded, amazed.
Magic, Orlene replied, laughing.
You're teasing me! Let me ask Roque.
Jolie turned to the Judge, who was inhaling the fragrant air with evident satisfaction. "I am turning the body over to the host, who finds this a novel experience. Since there is no expedient escape from this level, I believe she will behave."
"As you wish." He evidently had a notion of Vita's question. "However, I shall expect you to remain resident and to take over if she misbehaves."
Jolie nodded. She did not fully trust Vita, but believed that the girl's burgeoning crush on the Judge would cause her to stay in line. She vacated.
"Now I know I'm just a street-level city girl who's never been nowhere," Vita said. "But we just came out of an elevator and now it's gone, and I know they don't waste magic on regular folk. What happened to it?"
Roque smiled in the way he had, and Vita felt a thrill of emotion that worried Jolie. Crush? Jolie had forgotten how potent the passions of youth could be! The girl had said she loved him, and indeed, in her way she did. But she had rather direct ways of expressing herself. That would have to be watched, until it passed in favor of some other interest.
"It is not magic," Roque said. "It is merely camouflage. This is not a real tree; it is the mask for the elevator." He touched the bark of the huge tree trunk the path curved around, and a panel slid aside to reveal the elevator chamber within. In a moment the panel slid quietly across again and the tree was whole and seemingly natural.
"Oh!" Vita squealed, delighted. "It tricked me!"
"We must labor hard to maintain seeming naturalness," he remarked, walking down the path. "These parks are restricted to responsible adults because irresponsible folk have no proper appreciation for them, and may litter or damage them. It might be taken as an analogy of society: only those who have achieved a mature viewpoint are capable of appreciating what it offers without abusing it."
"You make it so sensible!" Vita said, thrilling again. She had had little interest in parks before, and none in maintenance, but she was an instant convert.
"I should; I am one of those charged with the enforcement of society's standards."
"Yeah, my pimp would just spit on this path."
"Oh, perhaps he would not descend to such depravity." She glanced sidelong at him, trying to fathom whether this was humor. He saw that, and allowed his straight face to quirk. Then she felt free to laugh. She was learning social nuance, too, in a hurry. Jolie was amazed at the potency of this association. Roque had treated Vita with courtesy, and she had responded in a manner Jolie hoped was not embarrassing him too much.
"Oh, look at that!" she exclaimed farther along, stooping to peer at a delicate flower. "It looks just like a—"
"Lady slipper," Roque supplied. "Indeed, that is its name. It is one of many ornamental plants cultivated here and in other roof parks."
"Gee, I wish I could be here forever!" she exclaimed.
"I understand the feeling. When I am amidst a hard day at court and I feel my temper fraying, the image that pacifies me is this one, especially the pond ahead."
"There's a pond?" Vita literally skipped ahead, casting off five years in her delight.
I walked such paths with Norton, Orlene thought wistfully. Her own nostalgia and emotion were riding along with Vita's joy.
And I with Parry, Jolie agreed, similarly charmed.
The pond was lovely. It had mossy banks and clear water, and ducks glided on its surface. The males had heads with iridescent green. They turned and swam toward the visitors.
Roque touched another tree trunk. A panel opened to reveal a chamber containing slices of bread. He took out two, handing one to Vita. "You tear it into bits, like this, and toss it to the ducks. Only one slice per person, per visit, so that the birds do not become obstreperous." He nipped a piece to the leading duck.
A mother duck with four little ones appeared. "Oooo!" Vita cried, tossing her fragments to them. The ducks took them eagerly, but headed back into the water the moment they were gone. They knew better than anyone that it was no use importuning a visitor for seconds.
"They don't really like us, just our bread," Vita said, disappointed.
"This is another truism of life. I, as a judge, find few who like me personally, but many who cater to me because of my position. You, in your past life, found many who cared nothing for your personality, only for the passing use of your body."
"Gee—you mean a judge is like a whore?"
"I would not have expressed it quite that way, but perhaps that is the essence."
"And both are like ducks!" she concluded. "No, wait, that's backwards. The ducks are the others, the ones who just want something, and you gotta be smart and catch on to them and not be flattered, no matter who you are."
"Agreed." And with that simple indication of approval of her rationale, he sent her floating again.
They walked on. "There is something I have been meaning to mention," Roque said.
"Me too!"
No! Jolie thought, alarmed by the girl's swell of excitement and love.
"Oh? You have a concern. Vita?"
But the girl, heeding Jolie's threat to take over, demurred. Vita now respected Jolie's judgment and would give her the body on demand, rather than risk in some way offending the Judge. "You first, Roque." She liked the privilege of calling him by his first name.
"There has been a grace period, but now it is necessary to arrange for your resumption of schooling," he said. "By law you must remain in school until you are sixteen, and it would be better if you continued until you are qualified for adult responsibilities. Your time as an outlaw is past."
"Gee, was I an outlaw?" she asked, intrigued.
"You certainly were. Had you been arrested in the course of your business, I would have had to fine you and remand you to the juvenile authorities."
"My pimp would have lied about my age and gotten me off."
"True. But I shall not misrepresent your age, or allow you to be mistreated while you are in my charge. You must undertake schooling."
"I can't go home for that!"
"Not yet. But there is an adequate local school in this building."
"You mean I'd have to quit going to court, and go sit in dumb classes all day instead?"
"lam afraid so."
That prospect did not appeal to Jolie or Orlene any more than it did to Vita. This was a temporary situation for them, which was extending because of the difficulty about getting Vita back home, and they did not want to suffer through material with which they were long since familiar.
"Say—maybe Jolie could tutor me!" Vita suggested. "She's lived forever and knows a lot, and so does Orlene."
"Tutoring—by a pair of ghosts? That had not occurred to me!"
"And they could do it all the time! You could test me, or something, to be sure I knew the stuff! And I'm learning a lot in court, really I am! Maybe if you got them registered as tutors—"
"This is irregular, but you may have a point. Are they amenable?"
Yes! Jolie and Orlene thought together.
"They say yes. Should I put them on?"
"No, I will accept your word."
"But my word's no good! I lie all the time, to get what I want. You can't trust me!"
"Are you lying now?"
"No! I wouldn't lie to you, Roque!"
"Then perhaps your word to me is good. You are developing a new standard, in keeping with your present situation."
She was taken aback. "Yeah, I guess maybe so."
"I shall see what can be done."
"Gee, thanks, Roque! I love you!" As she spoke, Vita threw her arms around him, hauled herself in and up, and planted a kiss on his startled face.
No! Jolie thought, way too late. She had been caught off guard.
But Vita, aware that she had transgressed, retreated, leaving Jolie in charge by default.
She quickly disengaged. "Jolie here," she said. "I must apologize for allowing—"
"Jolie, we must talk," he said, frowning. He led the way to a park bench and sat.
She joined him. "I can assure you that this will not happen again."
"What is the girl's emotional state?"
"Roque, she's young, and she has not had experience with a truly decent man before. You have treated her neither as a juvenile nor as a black prostitute, but as a legitimate person in her own right. She is recovering from H addiction, and I think has sublimated that discomfort in emotion. It is hardly surprising that—"
"She was not speaking figuratively, then."
Jolie sighed. "She was not."
"This places me in an awkward position. You know I cannot afford to have an amorous, underaged girl in my household."
Now, that's not fair! Orlene objected. We agreed to remain in charge while she remained here.
"You know that these things happen," Jolie said carefully. "Schoolgirls get crushes on their teachers, but the classes go on, and in due course they graduate to more serious involvements."
"I am not a teacher in a classroom with many students. I am a judge, and this child is residing in my suite. Considering her history, it would be inappropriate for such an arrangement to continue."
No! Vita thought in anguish. I can't live without him!
Jolie considered the complications of moving the host to some other facility and of dealing with the host's hurt. She wished she had intercepted Vita's rash action in time, so as to have avoided this problem. But now she had to tackle it directly.
"Roque, I deeply regret that this thing happened, but it is a reflection of the existing state. I feel that it is best for all concerned that the arrangement we had just settled on be allowed to stand. Orlene and I will tutor Vita and see that she qualifies to the necessary standards. We will remain in charge so that you are not embarrassed by this sort of foolishness again. You will not be left alone with the girl."
"Still, it is essential for a judge to avoid the appearance of impropriety, as well as the reality."
"I think you are being as foolish as the girl," Jolie said tartly. "The appearance is in the eye of the beholder. Your behavior has been impeccable, and hers will be so in the future. The impropriety occurred, as it were, offstage—and what was it? A girl impulsively kissed her guardian, who in no way sought or encouraged such attention. Even a judge should see no impropriety in that."
"What does she say about this?" he asked, wavering.
"I shall put her on again," Jolie said. Then, as she did so: Vita, just sit straight and apologize for embarrassing him, and be in control. That will show him that you have learned your lesson.
Jolie returned the body to the host. "Vita, here. I, uh, I wish to apologize, and—oh, Roque, please, please don't send me away! I love you, I want to be with you always, I want to have sex with you, I want to be your mistress for ever and ever, but I'll behave just perfectly, I'll do anything you want, only I beg you, please just let me stay!" Her tears were flowing as if turned on by a faucet.
Ouch! Orlene thought.
Vita tried to retreat again, but Jolie refused to take over. Get yourself out of it this time! she snapped.
Roque was looking at her, his face neutral.
"I'm, uh, not adult," Vita continued with difficulty. "I know I've got a lot to learn. I'm just a silly juvenile girl. I know my emotions get out of control. But with Orlene's guidance, and Jolie's, and yours, I hope to become what I should be. I really respect you. So—whatever you decide."
"If I allow you to remain..."he said. She bowed her head, her shame at her outburst bringing her the control she had lacked before. "Whatever you decide," she repeated.
He nodded. "I think I perceive improvement already." He stood.
Don't question him! Jolie shot. He's testing you. Vita, chastened, continued their walk, silent.
The Judge let it pass. Jolie and Orlene maintained strict control, and there were no other untoward incidents. Vita labored assiduously, and did indeed make progress in her education; she took standardized tests, and Jolie and Orlene refused to help her at all, but she gained. She was a bright enough girl, as should have been the case, considering her mother's proficiency as a researcher.
Time was passing pleasantly enough, but Jolie knew it could not last. Orlene recovered her equilibrium and resumed her interest in recovering her baby, but that had to wait until their present mission with Vita was resolved.
Orlene took it with surprising grace. I know my baby is safe with Nox, and there is no aging in the Afterlife, so it can wait. When we finish here, I will be better prepared to resume that quest.
It was not that she had lost interest in her baby; Jolie could tell by the ghost's thoughts that it remained strong. There was something else—and one day that other thing manifested to Jolie's considerable dismay.
Judge Scott was due for his annual vacation. He planned to go to the northern mountains, where a section of wilderness had been preserved as a giant park. "Have no concern; Vaasta will see to your needs, as usual," he told them.
I want to go with him! Vita thought urgently.
"I don't think that's wise," Jolie murmured.
I wish to second the motion, Orlene thought. I identify with the wilderness, because of Norton. That's over, of course, but the delight remains. If we could accompany him, perhaps tending to the cooking or other chores that Vaasta does here...
Roque glanced at her. "Your brow is furrowed, Jolie. Is there a problem?"
"I'm afraid there is. The other two want to go with you."
"I doubt that would be appropriate."
"I agree."
Now look, fair's fair! Vita thought. Isn't Orlene supposed to be the one helping me, and you're just along to help her?
"True, but—"
So Orlene should have a vote, shouldn't she? I mean, she's adult, she knows what it's all about.
Jolie looked up. "They wish to put it to a majority vote—and they are two to my one."
His mouth quirked. "Perhaps I should talk to Orlene."
Jolie turned over the body, uncertain what would come of this. "Orlene, here. No offense to you, Roque, but Vita and I feel that you do us an injustice by leaving us behind. We would be prepared to handle routine chores and try to pay our way, for the pleasure of the experience and your company."
"But much of this will involve hiking and camping alone. There would be an impropriety in having along a female below the age of consent."
"The host may be so, technically, but I was of age when I died; indeed, I was married and had borne and lost a baby. I am adult, regardless of the body."
"But it would be impossible to avoid the suspicion that we were in some manner involved with each other!"
"I hope you do not take this amiss, Roque, but I would not be averse to that suspicion."
What are you saying! Jolie thought, aghast.
"I am not certain I follow your implication," the Judge said carefully.
"Then I will clarify it. I have come to hold you in deep respect, and though it would be inaccurate to say that I care for you in the fashion that Vita does, I would by no means object to getting to know you better. I hope this is not cause for alarm on your part."
It is cause for alarm on my part! Jolie thought. How can you, responsible woman, make such a proposition?
The Judge considered. "I fear I may regret this. But it is true that I am not apt with the details Vaasta normally handles. You may accompany me if that is your sincere desire."
I'll have no part of this! Jolie thought. Orlene, at first bewildered by the circumstance of her death, and then by Nox's cruel trick, had now recovered astonishing poise and assertion. You are doing it for Vita's sake—so that she can indulge her passion for the Judge!
"Jolie does not approve," Orlene said.
"I would not wish either to interfere in your internal arrangements or to cause any of you three discomfort," Roque said. "Take time to consider among yourselves, and I will accede to your decision."
They did that. It was obvious that Orlene did indeed intend to accommodate Roque in more than routine matters, in part at Vita's behest, but also in part because of her own developing interest. But what was worse was Roque's willingness to go along with it. Apparently there was a majority of three for this excursion.
I will take a break, Jolie thought, her nose out of joint. You do as you deem fit, Orlene. I will return when your party does.
"We shall miss you," Orlene said sincerely.
Jolie departed as the others did, but in a different direction. She returned to Gaea and made her report on the weeks she had been gone: how Luna had sent her to Vita, who was now staying with the Judge while her home situation clarified.
"And not only the girl, but the woman, too, attracted to the Judge?" Gaea inquired.
"Girl and woman, each in her fashion," Jolie agreed.
"It is my concern that they mean under this cover to let the girl have at the Judge."
"Why do you feel that this is wrong, considering our own arrangement with a man?"
"The girl is underage!"
"Only by society's definition, which is seldom honored in practice. She is evidently cognizant of her true interest, as is the woman. I see no harm in it. Do you have another reason?"
Jolie realized that she did. Of course her concern about Vita was spurious; the girl had had plenty of sexual experience already, so had no illusion about that aspect, and the Judge was not a man to take unfair advantage. "I hadn't realized, but I do. It relates to the man, but I'm not sure—"
"You have an interest in him yourself?"
"Not a romantic one; there has only ever been one for me."
"Whom we shall see shortly; I confess to having been out of sorts during your absence."
"I want to see him too! But the Judge—" Then Jolie paused, the realization coming. "I see him as a candidate for an office!" she exclaimed. "He's such a good man, yet with considerable experience with the human condition. I don't want to see him sullied or disqualified!"
"Romance should hardly do that!"
"But with an underage girl, knowingly? That would certainly be a sin."
"Not by my definition, if it is truly voluntary by both parties."
Jolie thought back to her own days of life, when she was in love at age fourteen. She had waited until marriage before indulging in sexual activity, but that had been most unusual for that time. Certainly it seemed in retrospect that she could have indulged sooner, and now she wished she had. She had had so little time with Parry!
"But what about God's definition?"
"Interesting that you should raise that question at this time. Are you aware of the nature of Luna's research, with which you are indirectly helping?"
"What does that have to do with God? We were never told—"
"It is time you knew, Jolie, but I am not at liberty to tell you. Therefore I shall compromise: I shall tell you, then seal it off from your awareness until a more appropriate time. It is not my purpose to tease you, but to prepare you subconsciously for what could be a significant role you will play."
"What are you talking about? I am just a ghost!"
"The final confrontation is coming upon us, and all the Incarnations including Satan are girding for it. But it is not of precisely the nature even the Angel Gabriel anticipated."
"The confrontation between Good and Evil? But I cannot be involved with that, because of my conflict of interest!"
"No more than mine, my friend!"
"No more than yours," Jolie conceded. "We both love Satan; how can we be discussing this?"
"We have concluded that the issue can not be settled with the present cast, because as far as we can ascertain, God has not involved Himself with mortal or immortal affairs in several centuries. Therefore it behooves those who support Good to arrange for a change in the Officeholder."
Jolie was aghast. "Replace the Incarnation of Good?"
Gaea nodded. "Install a new man—one who will at least pay attention to mortal matters."
"But is that possible? Surely if the present Officeholder does not step down, no other force can make Him!"
"No other could—were he defending his turf. But in the absence of such defense, it becomes the prerogative of the other Incarnations to elect a replacement, by unanimous vote. The lesser ones support the greater ones, and outside ones like Nox do not concern themselves in this. So we are planning to hold a conclave and elect the replacement."
"But Satan will oppose that!"
"Of course. Because it is to his interest to maintain an inactive Incarnation of Good. A new one would be active, greatly complicating Satan's drive for power."
"Unless it were Satan himself. He really isn't evil."
Gaea smiled. "You and I might vote for him, but I doubt that a majority of the Incarnations would, let alone make it unanimous. It will have to be some other man."
"Some other man," Jolie agreed, still awed at the prospect.
"So Satan's defenses will be two: first he will try to prevent the vote from being taken. Since it requires the accordance of a clear majority of the mortals who believe in God, the first battle will occur in the mortal realm. It is in preparation for this that Luna is researching."
"Her key vote!" Jolie exclaimed. "To bring her constituency in line!"
"Even so. This is the help you have been rendering her. She requires precise information as to the sources of mortal opposition, so that she can neutralize as many as possible. Fate has been able to read ahead this far: it will come down to one vote, and that vote will be hers, but she must do it with the support of her mortal constituency. Satan will do his best to deny that support. This issue has been building since Luna entered politics, and perhaps longer. But it is only the first; the second will be the decision on the man."
"And that man may redefine the standards," Jolie said, seeing it. "So that there may not be automatic sin for consenting love, or for voluntary death, or a hundred other things."
"Yes. Those standards may once have been appropriate, but their relevance has eroded. We can not know how they will change, but we must try to select a man who will change them for the better."
"So the candidates I have been watching—"
"May be for that Office."
"And the Judge—"
"May be a candidate."
"But a unanimous choice—Satan will veto any man the others agree on!"
"True. But once the conclave is assembled, it will continue until the selection is made. Eventually there must be a compromise."
"But that almost guarantees that the best man will not be chosen!" Jolie protested. "That he'll be a compromise choice, with at least some evil—how can that be?"
"It evidently was so the last time. The evil in that choice manifested as indifference or vanity. Just as there is some good even in Satan, there is some evil even in God. But that will be better than nothing—which is what we have now."
"What we have now," Jolie echoed. What a development!
"So now you can appreciate the importance of your observation. You must understand the Judge well enough to be able to recommend him for such an Office—or to eliminate him from consideration. We must not have any mistakes in our nominations! You must retain awareness of the critical nature of your mission, but not of the mission itself. I regret putting you in such a position, but believe it must be so, for the present."
"I understand. I would not have believed it otherwise." Gaea looked at her—and abruptly Jolie forgot what she had been told, retaining only the imperative to study Judge Scott with excruciating care and objectivity.
"Now let's go consort with the enemy," Gaea said. Jolie was relieved to shift from the perplexity in which she found herself. She was aware of having discussed something of transcendent importance, but could not recollect what it was. She floated into Gaea and animated her body, conforming it to her own.
She rejoined Vita and Orlene as they returned from the Judge's vacation. Vita looked tanned and fit and satisfied, though of course her tan was permanent. Roque seemed pensive. Jolie dreaded to conjecture what that meant, despite Gaea's assurance about the morality of the situation.
We were naughty, Orlene thought.
Jolie had washed her hands of the matter, but now she had to know: exactly what had happened on that trip north? The other two were glad to fill her in, running a chain of vivid selected memories. It was as if Jolie herself were living it.
An airplane, for the scientific devices tended to be better than the magical ones for massive or long traveling. Arrival at the northern airport, where megabuildings were sparse. A carpet to the campsite, with supplies for several days. A foot hike to the local sights: huge old pine trees, jagged natural slopes, and a freezingly cold untamed river.
Evening at an unheated cabin. They cooked their staples over an open fire of burning wood, an amazing novelty, complete with choking smoke. Both Vita and Orlene loved it.
Then the night in the cabin. They had separate sleeping bags, but Orlene balked. "We are alone now, Roque, and there is no need for confusion. You are a gentleman and will not force the issue, but we deem it our prerogative to do that. Unless you protest, we shall merge our bags and join you for the night."
"I must object," Roque said. "You have reservations about the age or race of the host?"
"No, it is the age of the controlling person that counts, and it never occurred to me that race should be a factor.
But—"
"You have difficulty relating to women?"
"No! But—"
"Objection noted. Overruled."
He had to smile. "I can not stop you, but it should also be noted that I did anticipate something like this, and am resolved to take no advantage of anyone. If you wish to talk, I shall be glad to do that, but that will be the extent of it."
Orlene put the bags together and got in with him. "I shall be happy to talk, Roque, if it does not deprive you of sleep. Of what nature is your concern?"
"Merely the question of propriety, which you have now answered satisfactorily. But I have the impression that there is something I do not know of you and your motive, and I would like to understand that. Vita has expressed interest in me of a certain, shall we say, personal nature, but you have not, so your interest in accompanying me here, and in establishing such propinquity, is obscure."
She snuggled close to him in her nightie. "I want you to understand the manner in which you have done me some singular good. I was an adoptee, raised by good folk, but always with the knowledge that I had been born to other parents. Even though there was never any discrimination of any kind against me, that awareness always set me just a bit apart. Perhaps it was that which led me to avoid true marriage and agree to a ghost marriage, wherein I married a ghost and agreed to bear a child who would carry his inheritance. The ghost, Gawain, was a dragon slayer who had in turn been slain by one of his quarry, technically an allosaur. I never knew him in life, and he was unable to manifest to me in death, so there was no love between us. Indeed, I was satisfied that it be so, for I think I felt unworthy of love, because of my anonymous parentage. Gawain solicited men to come to me, but I had the right of veto, so that I would not have to endure sex with an inappropriate male. I was not being coy; I have the talent of judging people by the glows of their auras, as you know, and I judged each prospect by his glow as a father and lover. I was actually relieved when the first ones had inadequate glows. If the truth be told—and this is the time, I think, for telling it—I really did not believe the ghost existed, and thought that the men who came were mere opportunists. Only later did I come to accept the validity of it and that Gawain really was active on my behalf.
"Then Gawain brought Norton, a wandering environmentalist, and the sight of his glow overwhelmed me so that I could hardly speak. He and I faltered through an introduction, but I knew from the outset that he was the one. Indeed, he came to live with me, and we were lovers, and he fathered my baby, and then—" She found herself crying.
"I know the history," Roque said gently. "I regret that such tragedy came to you."
"So now I am a ghost, having followed my baby," she continued after a while. "But when Jolie and I went to see the Incarnation of Night, and I became a man and attempted to rape her, that was such a blow to my self-esteem that I retreated entirely. I had seen most men, other than Norton, as crude, lecherous animals, but now I knew that I was no better, for I had been worse than they, when given their imperative. I had never dreamed that sex could be so powerful a force! It entirely overwhelmed me, and all ethical scruples ceased to have meaning. I simply yielded to the imperative to do it, and damned be all else. Only Nox's intercession, her offering of herself to sate my intemperate lust, aborted my effort. I wronged my friend Jolie, but that was only the half of it, because my confidence in my own quality of character was shaken. How could I condemn any man for yielding to his passion, after that? How could I consider myself in any way superior, or even equal to others, in the moral sense? And so I gave up my quest, finding myself unworthy of it, and let myself sink toward Hell, where it seemed I belonged. Only Jolie saved me, by refusing to let me descend, though she was the one I had wronged.
"She brought me to this host so that I would not sink the moment she let go of my soul. Here I became immersed in the horrors of a girl of the street, and realized that it was not enough merely to condemn myself for my fall; I had to try to do something about the evil that was around me and in me. Then the host came to you, and I came to know you, Roque. I had forgotten that there are differences in men, as there are in women. Forgotten that I had known and loved a good man, Norton. Indeed, now I saw that I had not loved him enough. When my baby died, all I could think of was the baby, and I went to join him. Now I see how badly I wronged Norton, who loved me. I could not save my baby, but I could have saved my relationship with Norton. So I was doing wrong before I went to Nox. I had been intemperate in my narrow vision, and came to understand it and rue it too late.
"But now, for a time, I am alive again, borrowing the body of a girl. Temporary though it may be, I am resolved to acquit myself better than I did in my own life. My crime was to neglect the importance of the personal relationship, to underrate love. You have helped show me that, by being what you are: a fair and generous man. Vita loves you, Roque, and I am not sure that this is a fleeting fancy. It is my wish to intercede in what manner I may to facilitate the consummation of her love during the window that is available to it. Soon she will return home and that window will be closed. I am aware that you do not wish to have an untoward relationship with a girl who is below the legal age of consent. But if you will have one with me, in the knowledge that she is present—"
"I will not," Roque said firmly. "I will deal with her directly, invoking no surrogate."
"And this is the other aspect of what you have done for me," she continued, unperturbed. "You have shown me that it is possible for a man to withstand temptation. I know the forces that are in you, for I have experienced them myself. But what overwhelmed me, you control so consistently that never by word or glance or deed do you yield to it. I envy you that control, and I admire you for that and all that you are. You are another man I could love, Roque; I do not do so because it is no longer my prerogative. I cannot make up in death what I squandered in life. But now I have the assurance that to be male is not necessarily to be evil, and I thank you for restoring that perspective to me."
"I thank you for your candor," Roque said. "I wish I had known you during your life. Perhaps I wish that I could have been the man to approach you, in your ghost marriage, for there is much that I like about your attitude. Of course, I might not have glowed the way your lover did—"
"You do glow, brightly," she said. "You would certainly have qualified. In fact, you would qualify for almost any woman. How is it that you are not married?"
"I really am not apt with women," Roque confessed. "Somehow it seemed that each woman in whom I might have taken an interest was taken by a more aggressive or endowed man. Justice was always my passion, and the girls had other interests. So I never married, to my regret."
"Had any woman come to know you as we are coming to know you, things would have been different."
"It is kind of you to say so. In fact I very much appreciate the sentiment."
"Perhaps we should sleep now," she said, closing her eyes in the darkness, half expecting him to make some sort of a move, for she was very close to him.
"Of course." He made no move, though his glow showed his desire.
Next day they took another hike, admiring the scenery both great and small. Roque had an interest in all things natural and was happy to discourse on it, and Orlene and Vita were happy to listen, for their separate reasons: Orlene remembered Norton's similar interest, and Vita thought that anything to do with Roque was fascinating.
At night Orlene turned the body over to Vita. Vita approached Roque. "Vita, here. Tonight is my turn. May I be with you?"
Roque smiled. "I said I would deal with you directly, invoking no surrogate. I rather suspected this confrontation would come."
She put the bags together and linked them, joining him in her nightie. "I promised to behave, and in these weeks with you, I have come to understand what discipline can be. Orlene and Jolie taught me a lot, and not just about school subjects. You taught me a lot, too, Roque, and not just in court. So I think this time I can be near you without going haywire, but if I lose my grip, Orlene will take over so you won't be embarrassed."
"This is commendable," Roque replied. "You know how I feel about you, and I know you have no interest in juvenile girls, but would it be too far out of line if I asked you to sort of put your arms around me?"
"You are in error about one of your assumptions, Vita."
She froze. "I'm sorry, I guess I asked too much."
"No, your request was reasonable in the circumstance." He put his arms around her bringing her close to him.
She was almost afraid to move, lest he change his mind. "Thank you, Roque. It means so much to me. After the experience I've had, it's really been neat to be with a man who didn't want to, you know. I'm really sorry I came on to you the way I did before. I guess control and restraint are the biggest things I've been learning. I just somehow thought that the only way to please a man was—"
"Please desist, before you embarrass me further."
"Sorry," she said, chagrined.
"There is something I must tell you," he said gravely. "Aspects of it may not please you, and if that is the case, you have my apology, and I will understand if you prefer to separate yourself from me."
"You're going to send me home!" she cried, stricken. "No. Were you listening when I talked with Orlene last night?"
"Yes," she said faintly.
"Then you are aware that I have never married and never was able to develop a close association with a member of the opposite sex. There is an aspect I did not discuss, however."
"No! You can't be gay!" she exclaimed in horror.
He laughed. "No, that is not my situation. But certainly I have had a secret vice. I am, despite your impression, typical of men in my desires. In my private imagination for many years I have pictured an event of a nature I have never cared to advertise. In this vision an attractive young woman approaches me and states that she has conceived an inordinate passion for me and wishes to indulge herself with me in the wildest of sexual orgies. This is of course forbidden, for she may not even be of legal age. Yet in my vision I am sorely tempted, assured that no other party would know."
Vita lifted her head. "You're joking!"
"Far from it. When you stated that you wished to be my mistress, you fulfilled that secret desire. I knew that I should send you immediately to some other facility. I knew that I was wrong in my failure to do that. Even then, I knew that in time you and I would find ourselves as we are now. I accepted the ruse of Orlene's control, knowing that she would free you for this encounter. Therefore, I can not claim any surprise; I wanted to be alone with you. This is the manner you have misread me; I am no better than any of the men who have used you in the past."
Vita was stunned. "You—You wanted me all the time?"
"I did. I fought against it, knowing how wrong it was to implement any part of my fell vision, and lost. But I assure you that this is as far as it will go. I have no intention of molesting you, and if I have repulsed you by this confession, I certainly understand."
"But last night Orlene was willing, and you didn't touch her."
"That was less nobility than expedience. My desire is not for Orlene, though certainly I would be interested if that were her wish. My desire is for you."
"But you knew I was watching! You could have done it with her, and I could've pretended it was me."
"She offered herself as a legitimizing personality, she being of age and experience to know her mind. She did not truly desire this kind of interaction with me, but felt that she owed it to you, for the use you have allowed her of your body. I find that a fine gesture on her part, but it is not one I care to indulge. My vision is illicit; my desire is for the body and personality of youth."
"Young flesh!" she exclaimed. "All day you put away pimps and women who do it, and you crave it yourself!"
"That is my secret shame. I regret destroying your image of me, but I felt you should know the truth."
"You don't really care for me, you just want young flesh!" she charged.
"The irony is that I do care for you. I have been impressed by the manner you settled down and worked at learning, and by your increasingly proper deportment. I know that many times at meals and during our walks in the roof park the others have relinquished your body to you, and that after your first declaration, you have not shamed yourself in your actions or words. You have been helpful to Vaasta; indeed, she has spoken favorably of you. You are becoming a fine young woman, and it ill behooves me to interfere with that. This is why my illicit passion for your flesh is such an evil; it spoils what would otherwise be an excellent relationship."
"But you know if you asked me, I'd be glad to spread my legs for you!"
"That is one reason I have not asked you. The willingness of the girl does not excuse sexual abuse."
"So you just figured to get me here like this, and tell me your desire, and that'll maybe turn me off, and it'll be over," Vita said. "You aren't one for force or rape or anything like that."
"I am afraid so."
"But you sort of hoped it wouldn't turn me off, and I'd dive right in with you anyway."
"It is the time for candor."
Vita thought about it, not moving from his embrace. "I guess I should ask Orlene."
"She well might have some sage advice for you at this stage."
"But I'm not going to. You know what I really wanted, when I said I wanted to be your mistress?"
"Love, security, attention."
"That's right! And the best way I ever knew to get it was to please a man, and the best way to please a man was by having sex with him. I didn't know any other way to win your interest, and I wanted it real bad."
"I think I was aware of that too. Certainly you are not obliged to prostitute yourself to me for—"
"Oh, shut up, Roque! I want your love! Now I know that it's not the same as your sex. Can you say you love me?"
Roque hesitated. "I cannot say I do not."
"Why not just lie to me?" she flared. "Say the magic word, and I'll do anything you want!"
"This is, of course, standard procedure with men," he said. "To tell a woman it is love, when the true object is merely sex. I would not care to deceive you in that manner."
"Why not?" she demanded.
"It would not be ethical. But apart from that, I am uncertain of my feeling for you. It would be foolish for a middle-aged man to love a child in that manner."
"Then tell me you don't love me!"
"I cannot."
"If I can't have your love, I'll give it to you for honesty.
Nobody ever seemed to care much before how I felt about it, and you do."
"True."
"Oh Roque, could you maybe just kiss me and see how it is?"
"I am not certain that would be wise."
"So call me out of order!" she said, and turned her face to find his in the dark. She kissed him emphatically. He remained passive for a moment, then his arms tightened around her. He kissed her back. It seemed to go on forever, and her feeling ignited, and she half climbed on him, trying to get closer than close.
"Oh, Roque," she gasped. "If that isn't love, I'll settle for it!"
"It is passion," he said. "Not to be trusted."
"Look, I know a girl's not supposed to get all hot and eager, especially when she's underage, but I've just got to have you! All those bad men I've had in me, let me get one good one and erase all the rest!"
"This isn't right—" he began.
"You have your vision, I have mine too! I want you to want me, to want me so bad you just can't help yourself," she said, clawing out of her nightie. "Maybe the world will end tomorrow if you do it, but you're so hot you don't care, you just gotta have me, and I'm yours, Roque, I'm yours." Free of her clothing, she started to work on his. "Your vision is my vision, you crafted it just for me—that's what I want to believe!"
He could not withhold his mounting passion. "Ask Orlene!" he cried. "Ask her if she can tolerate this!"
You're doing great, girl! Orlene thought, feeling hot herself. Maybe it is wrong, but it's got to be!
"She says to go for it!" Vita panted, getting his pajamas open.
"We shall surely regret this in the morning," he said, his resistance crumbling.
Then they were kissing again, and merging, and Vita felt the thrust of his loin and the jet of his culmination, and she went into a feeling she had never had before in sex with a man, and clung to him and stretched to kiss him and touch his tongue with hers while the feeling spread through the rest of her body. "Oh, Roque! Oh, Roque!" she breathed, over and over.
"Oh, my darling," he breathed back. "Though I go to Hell, it is worth it!"
"I'll go there with you, my darling, my love!" she babbled, clinging to him, trying to keep the fading feeling, trying to hold him within her. But it was useless; they had to separate, lying beside each other.
"We have been quite crazy," he remarked. "Yeah." Then she realized something. "Hey, you never felt me up!"
She felt the shake of his laughter. "I fear it is late for that."
"No, it isn't! Here, do it now!" She grabbed for his hand and hauled it to her breast. "Squeeze!"
He squeezed, gently. "Do you know, it does give me pleasure, even at this moment when my sexual urgency has been sated."
"So maybe you really do love me."
"So maybe I do," he echoed.
She caught his hand again, guiding it to her other breast. "Every one of my johns, he was hot to kiss me and feel me before, but once he got his meat in, that was all, he just wanted to be outta there. How come it's different now?"
"Because we did it for love."
"Oh, Roque, can you say it now?"
"I think perhaps I can, foolish though I know it to be."
"Say it! Oh, say it!"
"I love you, Vita," he said.
"I love you, Roque." She had thrilled to his presence, and to their dialogue, and to their culmination, but the thrill she felt now was deeper and finer than any of these. "Promise me you won't change your mind in the morning!"
"You know I cannot promise that, Vita. In the morning the full realization of my folly will be upon me."
"Well, it won't be on me! I could stay here like this forever!"
"So could I, Vita. But morning will come despite us."
Morning did come. Vita did not remember sleeping, just lying there holding his hand to her breasts, but now the light was filtering in past the cabin curtains. Roque was in his bathrobe, clean-shaven, his hair combed.
He saw her stirring. "Perhaps I should absent myself while you clean up and dress," he said.
She felt her hair plastered to her face in sodden hanks. They had sweated last night! "I must be a sight!"
"You are beautiful." He walked toward the door.
She scrambled up, heedless of her nakedness, and ran to him. "Don't go, Roque! I've got this notion that if you do, you'll never come back! You'll realize it was all a terrible mistake, and you'll resolve to never let it happen again and I'll lose you forever!"
"Well—"
She caught him and tore open his robe, then plastered herself against him. "Please, please, please, Roque, this is all the time we have. I swear I'll behave when we're back in the city, let me be your nymphet now!"
"You are trying to seduce me!" he exclaimed with mock outrage.
"Anything you want, Roque! I've been waiting all my life for right now, and I'll never have another time like this. I've got to make the most of it! I love you, I love you!"
"And I love you—even in the morning," he said, and she knew she had won.
"Don't forget to feel me," she reminded him.
"You are amazing," he said, running his hand over her buttocks.
Soon they were into sex again. She didn't think of it as making love, because this entire experience was an unremitting making of love; the sex was only its most emphatic manifestation.
Jolie woke from the vision of the memory. "The whole vacation?" she asked, flabbergasted. "Solid sex? You were more than naughty!"
Solid love, Orlene corrected. I thought I was going to have a limited affair with him, for the benefit of Vita, but she wound up doing it herself.
You liked it too! Vita put in.
I liked it too, Orlene agreed. I stayed out of it, overtly, but really I did participate. We were wanton! That poor man hardly got any rest at all. Now we leave the pieces for you to pick up.
Jolie tried to be angry, but this vision was too fresh and strong, too full of the delight of abandon. She remembered her seduction of Parry when he was a friar. How sweet it had been—but with what a consequence!
Unfortunately this, too, would have a consequence. Now Jolie remembered something she seemed to have forgotten. "I must tell you something I learned," she subvocalized. "You must not repeat this to any mortal. We want to consider Judge Scott as a candidate to become an Incarnation. This means that I shall be observing him to decide to what degree he qualifies. But—"
Oh, no! Orlene thought. And we just caused him to sin!
"Gaea disagrees. She feels that natural, consenting love is no sin, and if it is to be considered such, then the definitions of sin need amending."
Yes! Orlene agreed. He is a good man. he deserves an Office!
But if he should become an Incarnation, Vita asked, what would become of him?
"He would step into an immortal plane and leave his ordinary mortal existence behind. He would no longer age, or be vulnerable to mortal mishap."
So then he wouldn't be interested in any nymphet.
Jolie saw her point. "You knew this could not be permanent, Vita. In fact, it could not extend beyond your one wild fling. So that wouldn't make any difference to you."
Yes, it would! I want to be near him always!
"However, if there should be any longer-term relationship, it is not unknown for Incarnations to retain them," Jolie continued. "I maintain a relationship with an Incarnation, though I am a ghost, and Luna Kaftan maintains one with the Incarnation of Death."
Maybe there's a chance for me. Vita thought, relieved. Which Incarnation is he being considered for?
Here Jolie drew a blank. "I—I think it could be any one of them. But each is so important mat it is vital that no errors be made."
Vita was dismayed. We made him sin—and now he won't qualify? she asked.
He didn't sin! Orlene demurred. Maybe we did, but he didn't. He tried to do the decent thing all along, but in the end he was human, and I am glad of it.
"The question is, how does he feel about it?" Jolie asked. "If he feels it was a sin, then there is evil on his soul, and it will hurt him."
Perhaps you should ask him, Orlene suggested.
Jolie sighed, knowing she would have to do it.
She broached the matter as they rode the carpet to the city. "I understand the girls were active during my absence," she said.
"Exceedingly," he admitted. "I am sure you are aware that my interaction was with the child, not the woman, despite expectations."
He would not bend a bit to protect himself! "What are your intentions?"
"I shall report myself to the board of ethics, which I suspect will suspend me pending investigation and retire me thereafter."
She had been afraid of this. "Roque, I left because I felt that what was contemplated was wrong. But now I see it otherwise. There was no force, no coercion, no promises founded or unfounded. There was only love between man and woman. A young woman, granted, but old enough in experience and in guidance to know her mind. I don't believe that should be the concern of the board of ethics."
"The law is clear, and I am charged with the upholding of it. When I transgress, I must pay the price."
"When the board investigates, they will question the girl. She will testify that nothing untoward happened. What will then be the disposition of the case?"
"But that would be untrue!" he exclaimed.
"The girl is young and has a checkered history. She knows what would happen to you and to herself if she confirmed any intimacy between the two of you. Do you think she will indict you?"
He stared at her. "This is blackmail!"
"This is reason. In your heart you know that no crime was committed and that the lodging of the report you contemplate would only hurt each of you. What is your ultimate definition of justice?"
"You speak like a creature from Hell!"
"I am the consort of the Master of Hell."
He pondered. "The girl must leave my house. Only then may we be assured that the event was isolated."
No! Vita thought.
"She loves you, Roque."
"And I love her. But it must be."
Jolie sighed. "You are a good man, Judge Scott. You hold to higher standards than we do. We shall depart your residence at our earliest convenience."
No! I can't! I'll die!
Quiet, you silly child! Orlene snapped. She has something in mind.
"Thank you, Jolie," the Judge said, looking miserable.
"You are not welcome, Roque."
At that he had to smile. "I think it best that you not relinquish control until the departure is accomplished."
Jolie nodded. He was indeed a good man.